At our next women's meeting at church, we will be playing bingo. All the ladies are to bring a finger food & something to be used as a prize. I haven't decided what to bring as food. Either deviled eggs, tuna sandwiches, or barbeque meatballs. I'll have to work that day so I also thought about making potato soup the night before & then transferring it into the crock pot. I'd have to remember to take spoons & little bowls so not sure on soup. The meatballs I do is a package or 2 of those frozen ones, heated in a large saucepan with a whole bottle (or more, depending on taste) of whatever barbeque sauce you like & a can of crushed pineapple. Simmer for 20 minutes or so to get the flavors mixed in with the meat. With tongs or a slotted spoon, take meatballs out & place in a pan. Lining pan with wax paper makes cleaning up easier. Drizzle some of the leftover sauce onto the meatballs. Insert a toothpick into each meatball. Done!
The prize I am taking is this succulent. It's one of those $2 succulents Wal-Mart got in a few weeks ago. The planter I got last year when it was on clearance. The clear beads/marbles I got from a thrift store & used to make the plant look 'cleaner'.
This old smokehouse was already here when we bought the property so we converted it into a chicken coop. We really didn't know what we were doing so I plan to redo it. We haven't had chickens in years but are thinking about getting some for the eggs. So, I've started cleaning up around the area. I was waiting for cold weather to avoid snakes & wasps (hard to look up AND down). I've been cutting the trees that have since grown & cleaning out the junk that's somehow accumulated.
My husband placed all these large (& heavy!) pieces of concrete up against the wall to block anything from getting in or out. Now I need to clean that up. I managed to get all but one piece using just my hands, a garden rake, shovel, & a 2 wheel dolly. But that last piece is too heavy. I almost dropped it on my foot & hand because it was heavier than I anticipated. Maybe I will use them as the floor.
And, we temporarily (I hope) have a foster puppy. 2 or 3 nights ago, I turned off the t.v. around 10:30 so we could go to bed. We both heard a puppy whimpering really loud. It sounded like it was under our bedroom window. At first, I thought it was my husband playing something on his phone to rile up our dogs. By the time I got dressed & put my flip flops on & went outside, the sound had moved further away towards the woods. So I ran inside for my jacket & to change shoes. Back outside but the sound had moved again. All I had was the flashlight on the cell phone so I thought I would use the car & point the lights where I needed.
We live in a rural area with only one other house near us. The only light at night is if we have a porch light on & their street light. They live across the road about a quarter of a mile away. My husband doesn't see how someone could have walked or driven up our driveway without us hearing them. Our house is about 120 yards from the county road. I believe they could have parked past the house & walked up the driveway without us knowing. With the tv going & the dogs inside for the night, no one would have heard anything. It is very disconcerting to think that but this puppy is really small & I just don't see her going too far on her own. Hopefully we find a home for her soon.
But she is stinking cute!
Several months ago, we had some family drama. I am ashamed to say but I was a part of this drama by not keeping my mouth shut. And then I came across this verse during my morning Bible reading. Which in turn, caused me to do more studying & Bible reading.
Psalm 34:13, 14
(13) keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. (14) Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. (I didn't tell lies but I used my tongue to gossip, although I didn't realize that's what I was doing). Here are more verses that mention your tongue:
1 Corinthians 14:9 So it is with you. Unless you speak intelligible words with your tongue, how will anyone know what you are saying? You will just be speaking into the air.
Psalm 39:1 I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked."
Wow!! Talk about getting reprimanded by God!!! I was trying to stop drama from getting started but actually started some. And I was gossiping. The Bible also talks about gossip:
Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
In an old dictionary I have, the word GOSSIP means (1) rumors & conjectures about others (2) person who originates or spreads these
Realizing the wrong I had done caused me to delve deeper into subjects such as love & forgiveness.
James 4: 1-4
(1) What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? (2) You desire but do not have so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. (3) When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
Two main things seem to be the crux of most of the drama in my family so I'm going to touch on those for a bit. The first is when one person mocks another, or a person perceives another person is mocking them, or making fun of them. Sometimes this is true & the person is making fun. Most times I don't think they mean to be hurtful. Other times, I believe people try to offer constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is simply criticism that is meant to be helpful or useful. Sometimes this hurts people's feelings. But if they looked past their hurt feelings, & LISTENED to what was being said, maybe they would learn something. HOWEVER, even constructive criticism can be taken too far. Some people aren't strong enough to hear any criticism, constructive or not. When that's the case, you should stop. If that means the person you are trying to help learns the hard way or never learns, then so be it. Or, if you are joking & just trying to be funny, if you are told you are hurting that person's feelings or it really bothers them, stop. Just stop.
The meaning for the word "mock" is: ridicule, imitate, mimic. In Proverbs 17:5, Whoever mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker; whoever gloats over disaster will not go unpunished. Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you: if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer. Psalms 1:1, Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,…….
Jesus himself had words of constructive criticism & here are a couple of examples:
Luke 17:3 "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. (4) Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent', you must forgive them."
Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. (2) For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you
Proverbs 12:15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
Proverbs 15:31, 32 (31) Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. (32) Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.
The flip side of this is holding grudges, not forgetting past wrongs or words, & holding on to past words & actions.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6
(4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
What these verses are saying is that love does not keep an account of the wrong that is done to it. Resentment is writing down in the book of memory (i.e., remembering) all the wrongs that have been done to us….keeping track of them so that we might consult them sometime in the future for our own benefit. God's love is not resentful. It records no wrong for later reference. Love forgives. It may not always forget, but even when love remembers, it still forgives.
You cannot heal unless you do one of two things – REPENT or FORGIVE. Sometimes you have to do both. If for no other reason than for your own mental health & for you to be a better person. If someone wrongs you, they have their own path of repentance & forgiveness to follow. What they choose to do (or not do) should not matter what you do. And stop blame shifting!!!! Doing the whole "he said this so I said that & then he did this so I did that" does nothing but makes a never ending circle. Can you turn left AND right in a circle? No. You just go round & round.
REPENT: regret as wrong or mistaken
FORGIVE: regard without ill will despite an offense
FORGET: lose the memory of, or ignore
Acts 2:37-41
(37) When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?" (38) Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (39) The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off – for all whom the Lord our God will call." (40) With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, "Save yourselves from this corrupt generation." (41) Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
*****Here's the explanation for the above verses from the Jeremiah Study Bible:
Acts 2:38 – Repent means "to change one's mind or turn away from." More than just feeling bad, repentance requires a change of attitude – turning from trusting self to trusting Christ. Being baptized is an outward demonstration of the inward reality of Jesus Christ in a person's life. It isn't required for salvation but a requirement because of salvation.
Acts 2:39 – The beginning of the spread of the gospel to the Gentile world when Peter would soon be called to reach beyond Judaism.
Micah 3:12 Therefore because of you, Zion will be plowed like a field, Jerusalem will become a heap of rubble, he temple hill a mound overgrown with thickets.
This verse explained: Micah foretold that sinful Jerusalem would be destroyed. However, when Hezekiah repented, the Lord postponed this judgement (Jer. 26:17-19) & delivered from the Assyrian army. Many Old Testament prophecies of judgment were conditional &, in fact, designed to motivate repentance so that God could stay His judgment. Although God threatened punishment, it was the last thing He wanted to do!
Prophecies of judgment could be canceled or postponed & were on many occasions. However, if the people returned to their sin, they reactivated the judgement of the original prophecy.
Compassion is sympathy, especially with suffering or weakness. The word compassionate is the adjective for compassion. These 2 words are mentioned in the Bible over 60 times. Having compassion, being compassionate, goes hand in hand with everything I am writing about. To gossip, mock, or ridicule is forgetting compassion. Doing anything that hurts another person is forgetting your compassion for others. But I believe not repenting or not being repentant, not apologizing (& meaning it) & not righting the wrongs you've done, is also forgetting your compassion.
Psalm 77:9 Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?
Psalm 119:77 Let your compassion come to me that I may live for your law is my delight.
Colossians 3:12-14
(12) Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (13) Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (14) And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Ephesians 4:31, 32 (31) Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (32) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Having or showing compassion for others does not mean for you to allow them to take advantage of you, time after time after time. And now for forgiveness. Forgiving someone or asking for forgiveness shows strength, not weakness. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to like the person (although we should love everyone), be around that person, or condone their words or actions.
In Matthew 18:21, when Peter asked Jesus, "How many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus then answers with The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant:
Matthew 18:22-35
(22) "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy seven times. (23) Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. (24) As he began the settlement, a man owed him ten thousand bags of gold* {Greek word is talents; a talent was worth about 20 years of a day laborer's wages} was brought to him. (25) Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
(26) "At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' (27) The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
(28) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him one hundred silver coins {Greek word is denarii; a denarius was the usual daily wage of a day laborer}. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
(29) "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.'
(30) "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. (31) When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
(32) "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. (33) Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'
(34) In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
(35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."
***Explaination according to The Jeremiah Study Bible of this parable:
Rabbinic tradition taught that a brother could be forgiven 3 times for the same offense, but not 4 times. Peter, trying to be a better-than-superior Law keeper, doubled that & added 1 – 7 times. He did not anticipate Jesus' response, which is not a congratulations but a correction. Whether the phrase should be rendered 0 times 7 or 77 is irrelevant; Jesus teaches us that believers in Christ have been forgiven far more than they will ever be asked to forgive. They must cultivate a spirit of forgiveness, not a habit of counting offenses.
God expects His children to take on His likeness. If they do not resemble Him in their willingness to forgive, they prove they are not His children (James 2:13). God is rich in mercy & grace, but He is also holy & just, so those who refuse to forgive should not imagine that God would welcome their unforgiving hearts into His kingdom.
Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 72 if he had lived. My dad was the eldest of 6 kids born to poor parents in rural northern Louisiana. He was drafted like so many others & went off to Vietnam. While he was gone his family sold his beloved car, I'm guessing for food.
My dad never spoke of Vietnam unless he was asked a point blank question & couldn't get out of it. He did not like shows or movies depicting war & said most didn't show how it really was. The one exception was the show M*A*S*H. We watched that every week.
In the small town we lived in, alot of people looked down their noses at us. Some because we were poor & some because some of the family members were "wild". I'm sure my dad sowed plenty of oats in his younger years. But when he came back, folks said he was quieter.
He met my mother, who was 16 at the time, through his younger sisters. She got pregnant & they got married. My dad would joke(?) that it was a real shotgun wedding with my Papaw holding a shotgun on his daughter to make sure she went through the wedding. My dad would joke about the fights they had. My mom would throw furniture at him & he would go outside & tinker with the car until she calmed down. When we were born - SURPRISE!!! It's twins!!! - my mom left. The first time we were 2 months old. She would leave & a few months later she'd come back. So my dad, at 21 had two baby girls to take care of. Three months before I was born my grandfather died from a heart attack at 42. My dad helped his mother & siblings as best he could. He & his uncle decided to take his old panel van up north & work as electricians, sleeping in the van. My grandmother would care for us with the help of our aunts & uncles.
My dad was a quiet person, hardly ever talking until he got to know you. He sat in "his" chair, drinking a pot of coffee every day. My grandmother would use a switch if you misbehaved or talked back but my dad never spanked us. Well, once my sister talked back to my grandmother & he spanked her for that. One year when I was about 13, a friend that lived across the street & I decided to run away. Don't ask why. I have no idea. It was night & we were carrying our clothes in paper bags. As we walked we got tired & started leaving stuff behind. So within an hour or two of our escapade we were found. By my dad. Who pulled up to us, & said "Get in. Now." And we got in the car. That was the longest car ride ever because no one said anything. He took the friend home & told me I was grounded & to go to my room. He didn't speak to me for several days. My grandmother said it wasn't because he was angry with me, he was hurt & didn't know what to say to me. Talk about feeling like crap! After that, I always strived to make my dad pround. Oh, the friend? Her parents bought her new clothes & make-up.
By the time I was 6, all the aunts & uncles had left home except the youngest uncle, & he left home when I was 11. My dad went to work driving trucks for oilfield companies. In fact, he was driving trucks cross country when he died. He was just leaving the yard & started having chest pains. My dad would go through a bottle of Rolaids a week so at first he thought it was heartburn or heat stroke. Dispatch called 911, they got him to the hospital but he died. He was 48. He died miles away from anyone he knew. I pray that he found Jesus & I'll see him again one day.
He always made us his number one priority. When my grandmother suggested he put us in an orphanage he said no. He paid for my sister's doctor visits & hospital bill when she got pregnant. Let her live with him for years with her kids. Paid for my divorce. When he died no one had money. Thank goodness he had a life insurance policy & stocks in an oilfield company he had worked for. Even after 23 years I still miss him. Happy birthday Daddy. You are not forgotten.
This is a post I made on Facebook May 1, 2019, the day before my wedding anniversary.
***I don't know why I was compelled to write this, but I was.
Years ago, Garth Brooks had a song called "Unanswered Prayers". One of the lines in that song is 'I thank God for unanswered prayers'. I have been thinking of some of my unanswered prayers lately.
In 1989 I was a pregnant 19 year old whose husband had left shortly after finding out I was pregnant (long story). I had no job & the husband wasn't dependable about sending the separate maintenance check he was ordered to pay. I got on WIC & food stamps, & Daddy paid for everything else. Daddy was dirt poor so I tried not asking for anything. Most of the baby stuff I got was used. Getting rides to the doctor became a hassle so I moved in with an aunt & uncle in Arkansas. After my son was born I got a divorce & a job. I either rode with my aunt or these ladies who carpooled. I would walk from my job to my aunt's job to ride home. This was 2 or 3 miles & I would walk by the apartment building my husband & I had lived at one time. So one day I asked if there were any apartments available.
For the first time in my life, I was living on my own. The apartment was a dump but it was furnished & it was mine. I had no microwave, toaster, vcr player & the tv was black & white & only had one or 2 channels. Minimum wage was less than $4 an hour. Sometimes I didn't have enough money for disposable diapers so I would have to use cloth. My apartment had 1 bedroom but 2 bathrooms so when I couldn't afford to wash clothes, those bathtubs became my washing machines. I would wring out the wet clothes as best I could & haul them downstairs to the little laundromat.
When I couldn't pay the babysitter, my son went to stay with my dad or uncle so my grandmother or aunt could watch him. After my mom offered to pay the babysitter bill, I could keep him full-time.
I have never been so low as I was during this period of time. My only conversations with God were "Why?" Why was my life so hard? Why was my life so lonely? Other than my son I had no one to talk to. This was before everyone had a cell phone, & I couldn't afford a landline. There was a payphone right outside the landlord's office but he evesdropped. (He also kept coming into my apartment on the pretext of working on the A/C unit but it never worked).
I'm ashamed to admit it but for several months I went through men. Not because I was looking for love, because I didn't think anyone could or would love me. But because the lonliness I felt was unbearable.
I lived on the fifth floor & although there was an elevator, the landlord turned it off at night. It would still be off in the morning when I had to leave for work. I couldn't carry everything down in one trip so I would carry the stroller, the diaper bag, & my lunch down, back up to the 5th floor for Storm (asleep in his crib) & my purse, & back down to the first floor. Walk a mile to where you turned left to the babysitter & right to the nursing home. Worked 7 - 3 as a housekeeper & then straight to the babysitter because if you were after 3:30 she charged extra. If it was raining I learned to hold the umbrella over the stroller so that Storm seldom got wet. Back home to the apartment building but by then the elevator was running. By the time we ate, got our baths, & got everything packed & ready for the next day, it was usually time for bed.
When I thought of God - which was seldom - I thought "Why?" Why me? Why was I such a horrible person that my life was so hard & lonely? Never once did I say "God, I'm sorry for any wrongs I have done. For any sins I have committed. God, I put my life in Your hands & give you control." Not once did I say this.
I walked everywhere so I learned how to manage my shopping trips. I would walk to the store, do my shopping, & then call the guy who ran the "taxi service" to take me home.
When I met the guy who would become my second husband, I still was not looking for love, & I still felt I was this worthless, unlovable thing. I was about as broken as a person could be. I think Kenny was broken too - he just didn't know it. Kenny had a hard life growing up but he never was angry at God. Over the years he has told me he was never able to laugh after his father died when he was 13, until meetibg me.
When we first met neither was interested in a relationship. We were just two lonely people trying to be a little less lonely. And then we found out I was pregnant. We decided to try to make the relationship work if we could.
Kenny would say "I love you" & I would be uncomfortable but I would say the words back. I didn't mean them nor did I think he did, but I wanted too. I don't know when it happened but eventually I realized that I would say the words AND MEAN THEM!!! And the day I would truly be lost & devastated without him? The day he was in the hospital, unresponsive, & a nurse was asking me to sign papers if he would want on life support. For just a glimmer of time, I felt what life would be like with no Kenny in it. And as much as he gets on my nerves, I was devastated.
"I thank God for unanswered prayers". My prayers were not answered back in 1989. If they would have been, so many lives would have turned out differently. My ex-husband & his wife became Christians years ago. If not for my unanswered prayer, that might not have ever happened. If not for my unanswered prayers, I never would have met Kenny or had Cheyenne.
I may be wrong in the way I think, but I believe God needed me to hit rock bottom so I would learn to fight & overcome the darkness that threatened to consume me. I don't think He meant for me to take the scenic route but I am working on my salvation & being a stronger Christian every single day.
Thank God for unanswered prayers!!! Kenny & I have been together for 28 years & married for 24 years May 2nd. I didn't always agree with his parenting methods, nor did he always agree with mine; but he raised my son as his own & we have a beautiful (albeit weird) daughter together.
When I met Kenny I told people he was a little weird. He read the Bible every day but he would also read other books like the I Ching or Quran for better understanding. Kenny was (& is) crazy smart & knew a little about any subject you asked him about. He's still a little weird & he still gets on my nerves, but I do not believe I could have reclaimed my faith in humanity without him. Nor do I believe I could walk this road to be a stronger Christian without him pushing me test myself or to right wrong behavior.
Yes, thank God for unanswered prayers!!! I love you Kenny Kenneth Johnson.
